Happy Birthday! I hope you’re having a good day so far. I hope, wherever you are, Grandpa was able to get you a box of chocolate covered ginger. Or at least made you a cup of tea.
I want to start by thanking you for watching over me and Ellabelle in July. I’ve dealt with a lot religious questions since you died, and, while I no longer believe in angels, I know you were as close as there is to one. Something told my doctor to skip her shower that morning and get into the hospital to check on me, and I am thankful everyday that she did. I like to think it was you whispering in her ear to get her to your girls. We needed you then and you came through for us. Ellabelle Louise was healthy and beautiful, and the doctors have even used the word “perfect” to describe her. She is the light of so many lives, and I know you cradled her in your arms and grandpa kissed her before you two sent her to me. That’s why she didn’t cry at first. She knew you’d never send her somewhere that wasn’t safe. What I picture – just 25 years older 🙂
And speaking of Ellabelle, you would love her. She’s not even nine months old yet and she’s already got us running around at her beck and call. She’s ornery and stubborn to the core. She’s determined to get what she wants when she wants it. She’s a lil Amy, or I guess a Lil Sweetcake. And this personality of hers, well it gets her into trouble. So she gets middle named a lot. That means she gets called Ellabelle Louise a LOT. And every time I call her that it makes my heart smile (even if she is in trouble).
I don’t have a connection with her first name. I don’t look at her when I say her first name and think of Erma Ellabella unless I’m explaining where her name comes from, but her middle name is super special to me. It feels like my last connection directly to you. I can almost feel you hugging me and holding my hand when I see her and hear Louise.
This March I got a job at the IRS. I know you’d think it’s so neat that I work where my dad does. And I use the word neat because I remember you always saying it. Oh, and you know what else is neat? The fact that Ellabelle looks like me. You always told me how neat you thought it was that I look like my dad so Ellabelle looks like him too. And he’s so great at being grandpa. I know you’d love seeing him with her.
Honestly, other than Ellabelle and my new job, there isn’t much different here. I still miss you all the time. It comes and goes. Somedays I’ll just feel the painful gap you left like it’s fresh. Other days it easier to live with. We just aren’t the same without the two of you here. Things are different. You were the glue that held us all together. We just aren’t complete anymore. And it breaks my heart to look at Ellabelle and think about you guys never getting to meet her, here. She will never get to play along with Grandpa’s jokes or sit and talk to you or check the pumpkin for dum-dum suckers.
Well, anyways, I hope you have a great day! We all love and miss you so much. Enjoy 94! It’s a big deal. So close to the big 100! Keep watching over us, and give Grandpa a hug and kiss for me.
Love from your sweetcake,