How far along? 34 weeks and 5 days
Total weight gain/lost:
Maternity clothes? I need more! but am trying to stretch the current clothes still
Stretch marks? I’m a bengal tiger these days
Best moment of the week: going grocery shopping (don’t judge, I love grocery shopping!)
Missing anything? Being able to drive
Movement? Ah wiggle, wiggle, wiggle
Anything making you queasy or sick? nope
Have you started to show? Still small, but Josh promises I look pregnant and not just fat
Gender? Lil Miss Ellabelle
Labor signs? Braxton hicks have started
Belly button in or out? In but closer to the opening
Wedding ring on or off? Off =(
Mood: anxious, impatient, aggravated
Looking forward to: her getting here!
Quick nursery update, in pictures!:
As of lately, I just want to cry. Like, all the time. Just throw myself down on the ground and just cry and cry and cry and cry and cry. I have felt so lost. I have spent my whole life doing what is expected of me. I have also spent my whole life not doing what I really want. I almost had a break down when I realized the craziest thing I’ve ever done is go to law school. Seriously. That’s depressing. Being the responsible one, being the “good” one has taken a toll on being myself.
So, I’m done. I’ve decided so that’s the way it is. I’m done following the map. I’m done doing the expected. I am going to take the road less traveled. I’m going to start being the hero of my own story.
Upon this revelation, I’ve realized that I don’t celebrate life enough. It’s short and filled with enough bad things already. Celebration is necessary. So, I’m going to start celebrating the simple things in life. Like my cats:
Cats that like to reach out and touch your face every chance they get
Cats sleeping in places they aren’t suppose to be sleeping
Cats blocking the puppy in her room with their asses
Cats exploring new baby furniture
Cats who watch tv
Cats who pin down your legs at night
My puppy (cause we all know she needs more celebrating)
My puppy’s love of the air conditioning vent.
She’ll just stand over it and let it blow in her face. She doesn’t like sharing it with the cats. (The peas are there since we thought there was a critter in our air ducts. We didn’t want it coming out.)
My sleepy puppy trying to keep me from putting in her crate at night
My sleepy puppy with her head between her paws. It’s just so cute.
My puppy still trying to figure out what all the new baby stuff is and why she can’t have it
Crazy walmart shirts
The view from the hospital
We took our lamaze class and got a tour of the labor and delivery floor. This was the view of the city from the room. Josh didn’t get why it was such a big deal, but it’s my city, it’s my skyline. I love Cincinnati. A true Cincy baby needs the city to be there when she makes her entrance into the world.
And then there are real celebrations that sometimes don’t need a huge celebration to be celebrated. There doesn’t need to be balloons and streamers for some days, but that doesn’t make the days any less special. Like our one year anniversary:
a banner, homemade gnocchi and chicken casserole, and a toast with sparkling grape juice (even if Josh made us dump it out after a quick sip since it had gone bad) – that was it. Our day was still special though. 1 year – amazing in my book.
Tonight, I celebrate my snoring husband complete with pink eye mask. I celebrate the puppy that has her face pressed against the metal bars of her crate so she can be as close to me as possible, even while locked up. I celebrate being tired and hopefully getting to actually sleep through tonight. I celebrate the odd shape of my stomach that my womb monster is causing as she lays to one side. I celebrate the simple things is my life.
I may still want to throw myself down and cry, but, tonight, I’m going to blame it on the hormones and just be happy.
The more you praise and celebrate your life,
the more there is in life to celebrate.