Today is my Friday. Friday’s are usually exciting days – the gateway to the weekend. Today isn’t Friday though. So, even though today is my Friday, there’s a Thursday gloom that hangs in the air. It’s a nasty little rain cloud that hangs out over my head. Most days when this rain cloud takes up its residence over my head, it’s just a fluffy but gray rain cloud that sprinkles on me. Today, it’s an oversized, hazy, can’t make out a shape kinda cloud that’s brought thunder and lightening with it and splashed icy cold water down my neck. Oh, and wind. It’s brought wind with it today. It’s a level 3 hurricane around these parts today.
Part of me wishes it were a hurricane cause at least I’d be at the beach. And this monstrous thunder cloud has me down, way down, and the beach would certainly be a cure. As it is, Ohio has no beach, and so this storm keeps blowing my mind off course. Being pregnant, on top of this hurricane, makes it seem like there’s no eye of the storm, that there’s no end to the destruction it will wreak on me. I just want to board up the windows and huddle in the corner with my scared kitty cat (Jericho is terrified of storms) and be told by a well dressed weatherman that this will all be over soon.
But there is no weatherman. There isn’t even a kitty cat to be scared with right now, which is good. Real storms are enough for him. He doesn’t need to be caught up in my emotional storm. I just can’t let go of some of things that have me down. I guess that’s why I’m writing. I needed to try to let it all go. I’ve vented all over the place already, but I’m still upset. I didn’t know what I was getting into when this all started. Now, I know. Now, there’s no turning back. I wouldn’t want to turn back anyways. I’ve gotten so many great things out of the deal, but that extra baggage, man, it’s heavy. I can handle the bears. I’ve been to the Smokies enough times to know that if you throw a bear a donut, it’ll be happy. It’s the snakes – the quiet, low lying snakes that strike from below the belt, those are my problems.
I try to focus on the good things in my life. Those things are what are important anyways. Like, my baby doing somersaults inside my belly. My warm bed waiting for me at home to curl up and take a nap in. And this:
Yes, I have lots of good things in life. I love my little duck regardless of the amount of snake skins and bear claws that accompany it. It’s just hard to accept the way things are sometimes. I’ve been taught to go all St. Patrick on the snakes and oust them from my island, which is still caught in the rain, which will hopefully be downgraded to just a tropical depression soon. And, certainly, the duck doesn’t deserve a snake infested pond either, and there’s only so much the bear can do to help the poor duck. Le sigh.
The writing has helped, I suppose. I still don’t feel all that great. My storm will probably stay with me the rest of the day, but that’s life. Some days it’s got to rain. We wouldn’t appreciate the sun if there weren’t ever any rainy day blues. I’m still gonna wallow in my hurricane day.